19 Insights & Ways Out 2022
If you’re curious about why do men watch porn, this is the guide for you.
It features 19 insights about why men watch porn, plus advice to help them quit watching porn for good.
In my role as a life coach, I am often helping clients better understand themselves and overcome their bad habits.
That’s why I’m keen to share this guide with you.
So, let’s dive in.
Why Do Men Watch Porn?: 19 Insights
1. They Enjoy The Sexual Excitement And Release
Most people use porn to add to the pleasure of masturbating. Watching porn and masturbating releases a number of feel-good endorphins into our body, including dopamine. The physical pleasure of masturbating is the most obvious reason why people watch porn.
2. Heightened Arousal
Most porn features incredibly attractive actresses, with heavy make-up and perfect lighting, performing to simulate as much pleasure as possible. This creates heightened arousal for a man compared to masturbating with one’s imagination or (for some) even compared to sex with their real life partner.
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3. Porn Stars Will Do Anything We Want Them To Do
Whatever unique fantasies you have, you can most likely find videos of it online. It’s certainly a lot easier to find videos of a pornstar performing a certain act than it is to find a willing partner to do it for us. It’s worth mentioning here that some men are in relationships with partners who barely have sex with them at all.
4. Men Like Sexual Variety
Men are genetically programmed to want to ‘spread their seed’ with as many women as possible. This is their best strategy to ensure their genes spread far and wide and continue on after they die – and it’s also a common explanation of why so many desire sexual variety.
In reality, it’s not always safe, possible or practical for men to pursue an endless variety of women to have sex with. So, they use pornography to simulate this fantasy instead.
5. Porn Satisfies A Man’s Genetic Desires To A Certain Point
By indulging in the fantasy world of porn, a man can trick his subconscious mind into believing he is fulfullling his genetic purpose of impregnating as many women as possible.
Indeed, if you masturbate to different porn videos every day this week, your genetics don’t know that you’re ejaculating into a sock. As far as your genetic self is convinced, you’re spreading your seed at an incredible pace.
Of course, you know on a conscious level that you’re not having real sex, but it’s a good enough alternative to stop some men pursuing sex with a variety of partners.
6. Porn Helps Men To Relax
Once a man has orgasmed after watching porn, his body will go into a relaxed state. The bigger the orgasm, the more relaxed he’ll be. It’s a quick and effortless way to relieve stress after a tough day.
If you’re suffering from depression or simply going through tough times in your life, porn provides a fantasy world to temporarily distract you from your problems.
8. Real Life Has Stress And Uncertainty, Porn Doesn’t
In the fantasy world of porn, you get all the pleasure you could ever desire without any risk, fear, stress or uncertainty. It’s the easy way out. That’s why most men get suckered into this world too often.
9. Real Sex Has Stress And Uncertainty, Porn Doesn’t
Unlike porn, sex with a real life partner is sometimes awkward. Sometimes, a woman won’t want to perform a certain act. Maybe a man will finish too soon or be unable to achieve an erection. These things happen and can cause some men enough stress and anxiety that they prefer to consume porn instead.
10. Porn Is Rejection Proof
A lot of men hate the idea of being rejected by a woman they’re pursuing romantically or sexually. Some dislike it so much that they choose porn use over an evening pursuing real-life women. This includes men in relationships who want more sex than their partner does.
11. Porn Allows Men To Be Sexually Selfish
Since it’s typically a solo activity when a guy watches porn, he can be as selfish as he likes when it comes to fulfilling his desires. He can watch the activities that disgust his partner. He can perhaps climax after 60 seconds with no repercussions if he so wishes.
12. Porn Allows Men To Receive Sexual Pleasure With No Emotional Connection
Sometimes, that’s what a guy wants.
13. Some Porn Allows Men To Experience An Emotional Connection
I would wager that the explosion in popularity of OnlyFans has mostly been spurred by lonely men’s desire for emotional intimacy.
There are many women creating adult material on OnlyFans, which men can access if they pay a monthly subscription.
A lot of people wonder why men would want to pay for that, when they can watch more porn than they could ever consume for free on countless other websites.
The answer is: because women on OnlyFans will also send their subscribers messages and create personalised content, fulfilling that need for an emotional connection that so many men are looking for.
14. Porn Temporarily Cures Boredom
If a man is struggling to get through a particularly uneventful day, week or life, he can turn to pornography to get that same rush of a dopamine that an exciting or pleasurable activity would bring him in real life.
15. Porn Can Help A Man To Focus
It’s possible that a man can become so horny that he’s unable to focus on anything but his sexual needs. Porn allows this guy to quickly relieve himself so he can focus more clearly on the tasks ahead.
16. Porn Viewing Provides Sexual Pleasure For Men Who Are Unable To Have Intercourse
If you have a physical problem or a disease that renders you unable to have safe sex, porn can serve as an effective alternative.
17. Porn Can Help Men Overcome The Madonna/Whore Complex
Guys struggling with this psychological complex can overcome it by enjoying a relationship with their favorite ‘Madonna’, while indulging in fantasies about their favorite porn star.
18. Porn Can Offer Some Sex Tips For Men
If a young virgin is getting his sexual education from pornography, that can be troublesome because he’ll be less likely to tell what’s real from what’s fake.
However, a sexually experienced man might be able to pick up some tips from porn videos, without it harming his perception of what ‘real sex’ usually looks like.
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19. Porn Provides Instant Gratification
Most men are aware that they’ll probably be more fulfilled having sex with one amazing sexual partner in a loving relationship, or perhaps sleeping with several in casual relationships.
However, for most guys, that involves some level of effort, perhaps to improve their online dating profile or to leave the house and meet the opposite sex.
For some, it’ll involve a great deal of self-improvrment to become an attractive man.
Pornography allows men to receive sexual pleasure without having to go through any of these steps.
They can just log onto the internet, have their fun and be done with it.
Why You Should Quit Porn TODAY
Just because there’s lots of reasons why guys watch porn, that doesn’t mean it’s no big deal and there’s nothing wrong with it. In fact, there are many side-effects of regularly watching porn, which can be very harmful for your sex life, your relationships and your mental health.
Porn Can Damage Your Dopamine Receptors
As we’ve explored, pornography floods our brain with dopamine and other feel-good endorphins. Supposedly, your dopamine levels skyrocket to 200% above normal levels when watching porn.
The problem is: when you over-indulge in such insanely pleasurable activities, your brain re-adjusts so you don’t get so much of a dopamine hit next time.
That means: you’ll eventually need to do that activity more or on a more extreme level to get the same high. In the case of porn, men usually find themselves desensitized to ‘normal’ watching and end up needing to see actresses doing more and more extreme stuff.
This causes a lot of men to fall into a porn addiction, especially if they don’t address the problems they’re trying to escape with porn watching.
Porn Can Lead To Erectile Dysfunction (ED)
If your brain becomes desensitized to ‘normal’ porn with these seemingly perfect actresses, there’s every chance you’ll also become desensitized to sexual intimacy with your normal-looking partner.
It’s common that men suffering with a porn addiction also struggle with erectile dysfunction because regular sex with their average partner doesn’t arouse them enough any more.
A simpler version of this problem is when men can’t get an erection because they already ejaculated while masturbating to porn several times that day.
Porn Can Destroy Your Marriage
An inability to be aroused by your wife is likely to hurt her feelings, especially if she knows it has been caused by you watching other men and women have sex on the internet.
It’s not just that you’re unable or unwilling to satisfy her sexual needs, but she’s also likely to feel inadequate as a partner and lover. After all, you’re choosing to watch other people’s sexual activities rather than engage in the real thing with her.
If you’re suffering from a porn addiction, this is even more likely to ruin your marriage or any romantic relationship you find yourself in. Addiction sufferers will do anything and avoid everything else to get their next hit.
A man neglecting his relationship to watch porn is one thing, but some men let this addiction take over their everyday lives. It’s not uncommon to hear of men losing their jobs or putting themselves in financial trouble because of a porn addiction. I’ll leave you to imagine what kind of strain that could put on a relationship.
Addictions are not just caused by depression. The after-effects can cause depression too.
Porn Can Harm Your Perceptions Of Sex
This is more common when a man watches porn from an early age, while barely having engaged in any sexual activity with a woman himself.
In such situations, porn watching can lead a man to believe that all women love extreme sexual acts (which actually make most women uncomfortable in reality).
This man could also have unrealistically high expectations of what a normal woman should look like and how she should perform in the bedroom.
What’s more, he might have false expectations of how he should perform in the bedroom or how big his penis should be etc.
In extreme circumstances, porn can lead men to treat women like objects for sexual gratification rather than a real person with thoughts and feelings.
How To Quit Watching Porn
If you’re looking for ideas to help you to quit watching porn, your best step is to check out my guide on the Best Ways To Overcome Porn Addiction Withdrawal. There’s also a quick video towards the top of this guide, with more tips which will help you even further.
Frequently Asked Questions
Let’s round off this guide with the answers to some frequently asked questions about men watching porn.
How Does Pornography Affect Your Sex Life?
Some men and women may testify that pornography improves their sex life, by teaching them more moves for example. Some couples might watch porn during sex as a way of spicing things up.
However, there are many ways that porn consumption can harm a couple’s sexual intimacy, which have been already mentioned in this article. The most harmful side-effects are damage to one’s sexual expectations, libido, self-image or sensitivity to sexual stimulation.
How Many Men Watch Pornography?
In a 2018 study on pornography consumption, 98% of men admitted to having watched porn in the previous six months, while 80% said they had watched it in the last week.
The stats were lower for women, although still reasonably high (80% in the previous six months and 26% in the previous week) .
Do All Men Look At Other Women?
There are probably exceptions to the rule, such as asexual men or older men who have completely lost their libido. However, it’s fair to say that many guys will be caught ‘checking out’ women even when they’re in relationships.
Why Do Men Look At Other Women?
Men are biologically programmed to ‘spread their seed’ as far and wide as possible, as this is a man’s most effective strategy for impregnating a woman and ensuring his DNA continues.
Some people suggest this is a reason why men continue to look at women even while they’re in a committed relationship, although others say this is a cop-out and men should be respectful enough to overcome this urge when they have a partner.
Is Watching Porn Cheating?
You should discuss with your partner what constitutes cheating, because different people have different boundaries for what they consider unacceptable behavior in a relationship.
One partner might want to end the relationship if they catch you looking at dirty stuff on the internet. Another might have no problem with you indulging in your sexual fantasies this way. The only difference is their opinion
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Any More Questions?
Thanks for reading my guide on why men watch porn. I hope it has given you some useful insight on the key reasons on why your partner watches porn.
For what it’s worth, studies have shown pornography causes the same activty in the brains of men and women, so this advice could be applied to a woman who watches porn too.
If you’d like to share your feelings or you have any questions about pornography or porn addiction, you can leave me a comment in the box below. Feel free to include stories of how porn has affected your relationship.
I’d like to talk further about this topic and it would be great to hear from you.